A different take on loneliness

It seems that when we move abroad we choose a form of solitude, we choose to be alone, to move away from our family and known communities. Some of us want to be free from the lives we grew up in. Some of us are searching for a new definition of life, a new experience or a taste of the unknown.

But once we’ve found this solitude we suddenly realize we are actually alone and start looking for new connections. Once we realize we are in fact now free from our known life and we are on our own, loneliness starts setting in. Even though we have chosen this lifestyle we start developing a craving for a new belonging. We want to belong, we want people to understand us, to know us. We suddenly want the opposite of solitude.

How do we tackle our lonely feelings?

These lonely feelings seem to come and go. Sometimes when surrounded by people we forget about our loneliness and sometimes when surrounded by people we feel even lonelier.  If we dwell on these feelings of loneliness we suddenly start feeling isolated. Our feelings of isolation can lead to depression and gloominess. Somewhere along the line, we forgot that we chose this lifestyle of freedom and solitude.

We then enter into an in-between phase, enjoying our new found freedom but at the same time wanting to belong. We start making connections with other like-minded and different thinking people to counter our lonely feelings. We soon invest in building deeper meaningful connections until we find a place we feel we belong.  We’ve then created a new family and new connections and have then come full circle.

For some of us, the true Nomads at heart, we then start to crave freedom again and we move away. Sure we try to maintain some of our initial and new built friendships, but these connections start fading or taking on a new importance because we are creating yet again a new life in which only our new connections can fully understand our experiences. And thus, a new cycle has begun once more. Does it end, do we want it to end, does ending mean settling and staying in a new community?

Eventually, when belonging becomes more important than freedom we will find a way to settle in and tell ourselves to be satisfied with our new found community.

Until then, travel on ……… Global Nomad.

Gaby Kamp, Global Nomad Coaching

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One thought on “Are you Lonely or do you Choose to be Alone?

  • February 20, 2017 at 3:05 pm

    Nice one, Gaby! And unsurprisingly, one I can relate to. When something becomes too familiar, when you start to feel too comfortable, there’s always that craving to start anew. Aaargh, we are doomed! 🙂

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